Rethinking Engagement in Memory Care
There’s a moment in almost every senior living community when a staff member says, “We asked them, and they didn’t want to come.” For a long time, that response has been accepted at face value. The resident said no, so we move on. But what if that’s not the end of the story? What if it’s actually a sign that we need to change how we’re approaching engagement altogether?
That’s exactly what Jennifer Boonstra, Director of Resident Experience at Anthem Memory Care, challenges in this conversation. Instead of focusing on what we’re offering, she shifts the focus to how we’re inviting residents into the experience. As she explains, “We can’t just knock on their door and say, ‘Do you want to play bingo?’ We’re going to get a no half the time.” That shift from asking to inviting opens the door to something much bigger.
It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of filling a calendar. Activities are planned, supplies are ready, and the schedule looks full. On paper, it feels like engagement is happening. But there’s a clear difference between participation and purpose. Jennifer points out that many residents don’t connect with traditional activities because they don’t see the meaning behind them. The current generation in senior living didn’t grow up with structured leisure in the same way. Their days were built around responsibility, routine, and contributing to something bigger than themselves. As she puts it, “It’s so much different when you’re trying to keep someone busy versus giving them something they identify with that makes them feel good when they accomplish it.”
What makes this approach so impactful is that it doesn’t require reinventing your entire program. In fact, some of the most meaningful moments don’t look like “activities” at all. They look like everyday life. It might be a resident helping set up for a program, folding towels, wiping down tables, or sorting supplies. These are familiar, natural tasks that feel useful and purposeful. Instead of asking residents to step into our world, we’re inviting them into something they already understand. As Jennifer explains, “It’s not busy work. It’s purpose-driven. It’s helping the community.” When residents feel helpful, everything changes. Engagement becomes more natural, confidence increases, and their connection to the community grows.
This approach also works across all levels of care, including memory care. One of the biggest challenges teams face is figuring out how to engage residents at different stages of dementia without creating completely separate programs. Jennifer offers a simple but powerful shift. Instead of changing the activity, change how it’s experienced. In a cooking group, one resident might be cutting fruit, another might be following directions, and someone else might simply explore textures and smells. The same activity can meet each person where they are. “Include them, let them be involved at their own level,” she says. That mindset removes barriers and creates shared moments, even when abilities differ.
Another key takeaway is that engagement does not belong to one department. It belongs to everyone. When caregivers, housekeeping, and maintenance teams begin involving residents in what they are already doing, engagement becomes part of the culture instead of something confined to the calendar. A maintenance director painting a wall can invite a resident to help. A housekeeper can turn cleaning into a shared task. A caregiver can pause to sit and connect. As Jennifer puts it, “No matter what your role is… everyone has a role in engagement.” This shift not only increases participation, it builds relationships. Those relationships often lead to fewer behaviors, more trust, and a stronger sense of community overall.
Sometimes, the most meaningful ideas come from thinking just slightly outside the box. In Jennifer’s case, that meant bringing chickens into the community. What started as a creative idea quickly became something much bigger. Residents helped care for them, collect eggs, and spend time outdoors. But the most powerful outcome was the connection it created. “The biggest thing I saw was how our residents started becoming more social with each other… the chickens became the topic of conversation.” It gave residents something shared, something to talk about, and something to look forward to.
As the industry continues to evolve, the shift toward purpose-driven engagement is becoming more clear. Communities are beginning to move toward environments that feel less structured and more natural, where residents can engage in ways that feel authentic to them. This includes more Montessori-inspired approaches, more open and interactive spaces, less emphasis on rigid schedules, and greater use of technology to support connection. At the center of it all is a simple idea. As Jennifer says, “It’s all about that purpose. It’s all about that normalization.”
The good news is that this shift does not require a complete overhaul. It can start with one simple question: how can residents be part of this moment? When we begin to look at the day differently and invite residents into what is already happening, everything starts to change. The focus moves away from filling time and toward creating meaning. And when purpose becomes part of everyday life, engagement stops feeling like something that needs to be planned and starts becoming something that naturally unfolds.